Saturday, 2 April 2011

Crocodile Tears

I look out for others and end up getting accused of being a petty bitch.
I open up to people after they complain that I always push people away, and all they have to say is, “I have nothing to say”.
I’m not trying sound self-entered, but people really don’t understand when I say I’ve been hurt more than you'll ever be. 
I shouldn’t have to explain my whole life story just to gain your understanding, let alone friendship.
Fuck that, I shouldn't have to explain myself for anyone. 
If you like me as a person, a friend... Then you'll like me for who I am, accept the person that I am because of what's happened and help me to be a better person, not fucking remind me of what a bad person I am. 

To some people, all I am is a pity-less selfish bitch wallowing away in my own self-pity. 
Others don’t even realise my existence, but I’d prefer it that way than to continually be treated like trash.
Because everything I do is wrong in everyone’s eyes; When I tell people things, I do it for a reason. Not because just so you’ll think of me as insignificant or because its bitchy. Its because I know.

But hey, Apparently I’m just too fucking inadequate for everyone; I’m never gonna have anyone else by my side because, I’m too fucked up, too negative and always have problems with people. Because that's okay, everyone else is perfect, and they only try to be good... Everyone else is always right, I'm just an idiot who's always gonna be wrong. So I guess that means that everyone is always going to hate me. I guess  that also means that nobody else but me will ever be in the wrong. 

Well its always about me, never you, not anyone else. Maybe I've just been through so many people to see their true colours, but I give people too many chances and end up getting hurt. Although I've been hurt too many times to be hurt, it still hurts. I just don't show it. But no, you haven't been through all the lies, deceit, using, backstabbing, laughing behind your back, bitching and abuse. You haven't been fucked over by everyone in your entire life enough to understand why I have no more tears to shed; Not for myself or anyone. If you've put your trust in everyone and let down by everyone, everytime, and you think that's still not an excuse to not open up to people, then I guess you're the petty, pathetic, self-centered, ice-cold bitch.

If you only ever come on here to read my thoughts, than I'm sorry. Obviously you clearly don't comprehend your actions as often as you should. You can't just tell me to forget about what people have done, and expect my life to suddenly become rainbows all the way. What do you think I've been doing all my life? Forgiving and forgetting. But people just think its fun to do it again, again and again. It doesn't help the fact if they're constantly in your face everyday, does it?

Think about it, before you go off accusing me, telling me how bad I am, ignoring me, or even better blaming it all on me.